Transcript
Oct 2017
Happy Halloween! Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle? A: “I was bone to be wild!”
COFFEE BREAK BIZ
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Read the paper on our website at WWW.COFFEEBREAKBIZ.BIZ
Q: What do you say to a fishermen on Halloween? A: “Trick-or-trout!”
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Q: Why did the boy go out on Halloween carrying a bird in a cage and a clock? A: Because he was going to go tick-or-tweeting! Q: Why do people never eat clocks? A: Because it’s really time consuming.
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Between Bakers Pride and Sunny Side Up
912-927-4249
Vintage Furniture Antiques Home Decor Raw Edge Slabs Windows Doors Mantles
8 W. Victory Dr. Savannah
912-660-8872
The Winner The other day my wife and I got into a petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit that we might be in error. To her credit, my wife finally said, “Look. I’ll tell you what. I’ll admit I’m wrong if you admit I was right.”
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“Fine.” I said. She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, “I’m wrong.” I grinned and replied, “You’re right.” Newlywed wife: “The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.” Newlywed husband: “Oh? And which is this?”
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page 2
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when paid in advance 3 months or more $100 per month for 2¼ by 3 $125 per month for 4½ by 1½ $125 per month for 2¼ by 4 $150 per month for 2¼ by 5 $150 per month for 4½ by 2½ $200 per month for 3½ by 5 $400 per month for half page $700 per month for full page $250 per month for Spotlight ad reaching Savannah Chatham, Effingham, Bryan & Liberty Counties
912-349-7730
Read the paper on our website at WWW.COFFEEBREAKBIZ.BIZ email:
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912-349-7730 Say Cheese.... Cake! “Life tastes better after a slice of cheesecake!” ~ Jason Shaw “Keep calm and eat cheesecake.” “Contrary to popular belief, going shopping is about stopping afterward for cheesecake.” “The only way cheese is dessert is when it’s followed by the word cake.” ~ Michele Gorman “Cheesecake will always taste like love.” ~ Shonda Rhimes
Southern Recipes Baked Artichoke Chicken
Ingredients 1 (15 ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped (may use marinated artichoke hearts for extra flavor) 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese 3/4 cup mayonnaise pinch of garlic pepper 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves Directions Preheat oven to 375° F. In a medium bowl, mix together the artichoke hearts, Parmesan cheese, mayonnaise, and garlic pepper. Place chicken in a greased baking dish, and cover evenly with artichoke mixture. Bake, uncovered, for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until chicken is no longer pink in the center and juices run clear. Serves 4.
Ummmm! Dessert Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake Ingredients: 2 cups graham cracker crumbs 1/2 cup butter, melted 2 tablespoons white sugar 3 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened 1 cup white sugar 3 eggs 1 (8 ounce) container sour cream 1/4 cup brewed espresso or strong coffee 2 teaspoons vanilla extract for topping: whipped cream caramel ice cream topping Directions: Preheat oven to 350° F. Lightly coat a 9-inch springform pan with nonstick cooking spray. Mix together the graham cracker crumbs, melted butter, and 2 tablespoons of sugar until well combined. Press into the bottom of the prepared springform pan, and 1 inch up the sides. Bake in preheated oven for 8 minutes, then remove to cool on a wire rack. Reduce oven temperature to 325° F. Beat the softened cream cheese in a large bowl with an electric mixer until fluffy. Gradually add 1 cup of sugar, beating until blended. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in sour cream, espresso and vanilla. Pour batter into the baked and cooled crust. Bake cheesecake in the preheated oven for 1 hour and 5 minutes; then turn the oven off, partially open the door and allow the cheesecake to rest for 15 minutes more. Remove from the oven, and run a knife around the edges. Cool cheesecake on a wire rack to room temperature, then cover the springform pan with plastic wrap, and chill in the refrigerator for 8 hours. To serve, cut the cheesecake into wedges and garnish each slice with whipped cream and caramel sauce. Makes 12 servings.
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The Best Prescription Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to my son. When he asked Casey, “Is there anything you are allergic to?” Casey nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to me. Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse. When the pharmacist filled the prescription later, he remarked on my son’s unusual food-drug interaction. When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the bottle. As per the doctor’s instructions, it read: “Do not take with broccoli.”
BAYOU CAFE
Fearsome Funnies! Q: What do pasta lovers eat on Halloween? A: Fettuccini A-fraid-o!
Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies? A: They’re good at keeping things under wraps! Q: What do you call a chicken that’s haunting you? A: A poultry-geist! Q: Which monster flies his kite in a rainstorm? A: Benjamin Frankenstein! Q: How do monsters know their future? A: They read their horrorscopes! Q: What is a mummy’s favorite type of music? A: Wrap! Q: Why did the ghost go the the doctor? A: To get his boo-ster shot! Q: What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? A: Don’t spook until your spooken to! Q: What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? A: Spare ribs! Q: What’s a ghost’s favourite ride at the carnival? A: The roller ghoster! Q: What position does a ghost play in soccer? A: Ghoulie! Q: What did one Jack-o-Lantern say to the other? A: Cut it out! Q: What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? A: They boo-kle their sheet-belts!
GOOD FOOD. Mouth-wateringly good Original Cajun and Southern cuisine. Seafood, Wraps, Fish, Burgers, Sandwiches, Chowder and Veggie Friendly dishes.
Thurs. Night: Blues Night Tues. Night: Open Jam Night w/ Eric Culberson Blues Band
Baby Back Ribs
BBQ
Large Selection of Side Orders
Mon - Thurs: 11am to 3pm Fri - Sat: 11am to 7pm
Home of the world famous BAYOU HOT SAUCE!
912-233-6411 • 14 N. Abercorn Ramp • Savannah Catering Available
Full Meals
on Historic River Street www.bayousavannah.com
912-373-4272 1304A Hwy 80 ♣ Bloomingdale, GA next to Randy Wood’s Guitars
Word Scramble: Halloween Fun (If a scramble is more than 1 word, the number of words is shown in parentheses)
1. HOSGT __________________________________ 2. IMKSBTROCO ____________________________ 3. OATHU UNEEDSH (2) __________________________________ 4. OSTMEUC ___________________________________________ 5. CDACNORY N (2) _____________________________________ 6. RCIORT TR KEAT (3) ___________________________________ 7. THAW STHIC (2) ______________________________________ 8. TLCAAK BC (2) _______________________________________ 9. EC ONAJKRTL AN (3) __________________________________ 10. ELNSOKTE _________________________________________ 11. BBOEWC ___________________________________________ 12. ELWWFROE _________________________________________ 13. IRMAPEV ___________________________________________ 14. OKSYPO ____________________________________________ 15. YMUMM ____________________________________________ 16. OBSTNETMO ________________________________________ 17. LKUSL _____________________________________________ 18. EMBOIZ ____________________________________________ 19. OP OHUSCUSC (2) ___________________________________ 20. NPPKMUI ___________________________________________ 21. WERSCOCRA _______________________________________ 22. YRTPA _____________________________________________ 23. BOCTOER __________________________________________ 24. DHRYEAI ___________________________________________ 25. TYRCP _____________________________________________ 26. YPECRE ____________________________________________ ANSWERS: 1. GHOST 2. BROOMSTICK 3. HAUNTED HOUSE 4. COSTUME 5. CANDY CORN 6. TRICK OR TREAT 7. WITCH’S HAT 8. BLACK CAT 9. JACK O LANTERN 10. SKELETON 11. COBWEB 12. WEREWOLF 13. VAMPIRE 14. SPOOKY 15. MUMMY 16. TOMBSTONE 17. SKULL 18. ZOMBIE 19. HOCUS POCUS 20. PUMPKIN 21. SCARECROW 22. PARTY 23. OCTOBER 24. HAYRIDE 25. CRYPT 26. CREEPY
Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A: He is mist!
LIVE MUSIC 7 NIGHTS A WEEK!
Farm to Table Pork
Sandwiches
GOOD TUNES. Providing Savannah with great live Classic Rock & Blues for 20-plus years.
Dine In ▪ Take Out ▪ Catering Delivery (large orders only) Top 50 List of The South’s Best BBQ by Southern Living Magazine
OPEN
WED. THRU SUN. 11:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Featured in “Five Barbecue Joints You Can’t Miss” in June/July 2015 issue of Garden & Gun
12409 White Bluff Road Savannah
NEW LOCATION!
912-330-6921 www.bscracklinbbq.com or find us on Facebook
Great Truths About Life Children Have Learned ~ No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. ~ When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. ~ Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato. ~ You can’t trust dogs to watch your food. ~ Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. ~ Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. ~ Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. ~ You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Enjoy the little things!
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912-349-7730
HELP WANTED ADVERTISING SALES REPS COFFEE BREAK BIZ needs Sales Reps for Georgia Retired Military Welcome We also need bilingual Sales Reps!
Call Bill Williams
912-349-7730
Fun at the Movies: It’s Trivia Time! R.I.P, Dracula: When Bela Lugosi (star of the monster classic Dracula) died in 1956, he was buried wearing a black silk cape similar to the one he wore in the film. Or should that have been “A Boy’s Life With An Alien”?:The working title for E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial was “A Boy’s Life.” Seriously?: Disney was sued by a biologist for the “defamation of hyenas” in The Lion King. Why a duck?: Groucho Marx explained the title Duck Soup as follows: “Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you’ll duck soup the rest of your life.” Aw.....: When Spiderman 2 was being filmed, Alfred Molina (Dr. Octopus) gave names to his four mechanical tentacles: Larry, Harry, Flo, and Moe. Flo was the top right tentacle and was the most motherly of the four, removing his sunglasses and giving him sips of his drink. Up, up, and away. Or not: There are 10,297 balloons lifting Carl’s house in the movie Up. In reality, Pixar technicians estimated it would take over 23.5 million to lift a house. Foliage Fakery: Dirty Dancing suffered from weather delays during its summer filming, leading to production being extended into the fall. As a result, leaves at the filming location were changing color and had to be painted green for some scenes. The name is Bond, James... Bald?: Sean Connery, who played James Bond in seven films from 1962 to 1983, wore a toupee in each of them. The name is Bond, James... Bird?: American ornithologist James Bond was the inspiration for the name James Bond, of novel and film fame. He was a Caribbean bird expert and author of Birds Of The West Indies. Poetry for Spies: Inspiration for the title of Ian Fleming’s 12th novel You Only Live Twice, and thus the James Bond film of the same name, came from the 17th century Japanese poet Maysuo Basho, who wrote, “You only live twice; once when you’re born, and once when you look death in the face.” Indiana Jones, AKA a Wild and Crazy Guy?: Actors considered for the role of Indiana Jones included Jeff Bridges, Steve Martin, Nick Nolte, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Jack Nicholson, and Tom Selleck.
Spotlight on COFFEE BREAK BIZ 912-349-7730
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About Our Paper: Coffee Break Biz is published monthly and is widely distributed in Savannah and in Chatham, Effingham, Bryan & Liberty Counties. The paper can also be read online at our website: www.coffeebreakbiz.biz Our ads start out at only $100 per month. If you pay in advance for 3 months or more, you’ll receive a 10% discount on your ad price.
Showcase your business in a Spotlight Column Ad! Only $250! We can design an ad for you that really makes your business stand out.
Call 912-349-7730 Don’t Miss Out: Our publication has the most enthusiastic and dedicated, cover to cover readers you’ll find anywhere! Your ad will get the attention it deserves! HELP WANTED: Sales Reps needed in Georgia!
912-349-7730
BAYOU CAFE
Top 50 List of The South’s Best BBQ by Southern Living Magazine
GOOD TUNES. Providing Savannah with great live Classic Rock & Blues for 20-plus years.
Your one stop shop for all your smoking needs Specializing in cigars, vaporizers and American made glass
LIVE MUSIC 7 NIGHTS A WEEK! GOOD FOOD. Mouth-wateringly good Original Cajun and Southern cuisine. Seafood, Wraps, Fish, Burgers, Sandwiches, Chowder and Veggie Friendly dishes.
Thurs. Night: Blues Night Tues. Night: Open Jam Night w/ Eric Culberson Blues Band
912-233-6411 • 14 N. Abercorn Ramp • Savannah Catering Available
on Historic River Street www.bayousavannah.com
912-330-6921 Farm to Table 12409 White Bluff Road Savannah Pork
“I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.” “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” “The greatest thing you can do is suprise yourself.” “All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.” “The banjo is such a happy instrument. You can’t play a sad song on the banjo, it always comes out so cheerful.” “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.” “I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” “I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.” “I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything anymore if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.”
912.436.6338
11215 Abercorn St., Suite 4 • Savannah
www.bscracklinbbq.com
near Tailgate Sports Bar & Grill
2017
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• Call us for answers to all your tax questions! • Business and Personal • Specializing in prior year tax returns
ADVANTAGE INSURANCE (912) 920-0278 820 E. Derenne Ave • Savannah
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“Scientists at first were skeptical that a kitten-type being could exist in the rare Martian atmosphere. As a test, two Earth kittens were put in a chamber that simulated the Martian air. The diary of this experiment is fascinating: 6:00 A.M.: Kittens appear to sleep.
31
JANUARY 2017
ALL TYPES OF INSURANCE
More from Steve Martin
NOVEMBER 2017
OCTOBER 2017 SUN
• Drivers With Violations • Safe Driver Discounts • Young Drivers
WE ALSO PROVIDE INCOME TAX SERVICES
Dine In ▪ Take Out ▪ Catering Delivery (large orders only)
Home of the world famous BAYOU HOT SAUCE!
AUTO INSURANCE
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7:02 A.M.: Kitten wakes, darts from one end of cage to another for no apparent reason. 7:14 A.M.: Kitten runs up wall of cage, leaps onto other kitten for no apparent reason. 7:22 A.M.: Kitten lies on back and punches other kitten for no apparent reason. 7:30 A.M.: Kitten leaps, stops, darts left, abruptly stops, climbs wall, clings for two seconds, falls on head, darts right for no apparent reason. 7:51 A.M.: Kitten parses first sentence of daily newspaper that is at bottom of chamber. With the exception of the parsing, all behavior is typical of Earth kitten behavior. The parsing activity, which was done with a small ball-point pen, was an anomaly.” ~ from Pure Drivel
Planning Ahead
Snoopy has his own star on the Hollywood walk of fame, next to Peanuts creator Charles Schulz’s.
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch, and a gold Rolex.” “But you aren’t wearing any of those things,” he replied.
Snoopy has five siblings: brothers Spike, Marbles, Olaf, Andy, and his only sister, Belle.
“I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”
Snoopy has taken on more than 100 alter-egos during the lifetime of the Peanuts comic strip, including an astronaut and a ballerina.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? A: Lots of blood tests!
Snoopy was almost named Sniffy, but Schulz learned that another comic strip dog was already named ‘Sniffy.’
Word Search: “Do You Hear That?” Words Relating To Sound
AH-CHOO WHEEZE SNIFF CHATTER SCREAM GURGLE
SCUFF MEOW SPLASH CRASH ARF GASP
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Fun Facts About Snoopy
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Bonus Search: How many meters per second does sound travel?
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912.436.6338
11215 Abercorn St., Suite 4 • Savannah near Tailgate Sports Bar & Grill
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BURROUGHS ENTERPRISE INSURANCE AGENCY
It’s a Natural Process, After All Chris was vacationing in Vienna with his friend, Tim. One day he was walking near the Zentralfriedhof graveyard when he heard some odd-sounding music. His curiosity was piqued, and he started searching for the source. The source turned out to be, of all things, a grave in the cemetery with a headstone engraved: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Completely baffled, Chris stood beside the grave for several minutes, listening to the music, and suddenly realized that what he was hearing was Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, except that it was being played backwards! Now absolutely befuddled and afraid he was hallucinating, Chris called Tim on his cell phone and asked him to come to the cemetery as quickly as possible, so that he could see if Tim heard the weird music, too. By the time Tim arrived, the music had changed to Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony, also being played backwards. When Tim confirmed that Chris wasn’t imagining this strange occurrence, the friends were unsure about what they should do. It didn’t seem to be anything they should call the police for, but it was so unsettling and so very odd that they felt they should tell somebody in authority about it. They couldn’t agree on what to do, so they decided to walk to a nearby cafe and have lunch and discuss it further. Both of them hoped that the music would have stopped by the time they’d eaten and walked back to the cemetery, and the problem of whom to call would no longer apply. Unfortunately, when they walked back to the cemetery, the music was still going strong. This time, it was Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, and it, too, was being played backwards. Chris and Tim were deep in more discussion about what to do when the cemetery’s caretaker ambled by. “Do you hear that music?” Chris asked the caretaker. “It seems to be coming from Beethoven’s grave!”
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500 MONTGOMERY ST. SAVANNAH, GA 31401
N O TA RY
Cats in Costume
representing: Grange Mercury Progressive and other quality insurance carriers
cell: 912-660-5575
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Wow! There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.
Is it Batman or... Catman?
Jaws, the budget version
Celebrate your cat’s inner lobster...
Jaws, the blockbuster version
... or lion
The caretaker shook his head ruefully. “Oh, that. It’s nothing to worry about. He’s just decomposing.”
The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
6203 Abercorn St. Ste 112 Savannah, GA 31405
... or arachnid
And don’t forget to finish off with a tutu!
or, perhaps, his inner slice of bread.
Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. “How do you suppose this ball got in here?” I asked the boy. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, “Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!” My friend went to a hardcore Star Trek fan convention dressed as Chewbacca. It was a Wookie mistake.
REDDINGS AUTO MART BUY HERE – PAY HERE
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912-964-4626
1545 DEAN FOREST RD (1/2 mile east of I-16)
2008 BUICK ENCLAVE
2003 CHEVY SILVERADO
2009 DODGE JOURNEY
2007 KIA SPORTAGE LX
2003 DODGE RAM 1500
2009 NISSAN VERSA
3rd Row, Leather, Sunroof, Beautiful
Auto, PW, PL, $700 down, $300/month
LS, Ext Cab, Z71
4X4, Crew Cab, SLT
Automatic, Power Pkg!
4-DR, Auto, Gas Saver!
The Only Golf Ball a Golfer Would Ever Need Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. “Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?” he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. “Are you sure?” the friend persisted. “What happens if you lose that ball?” The other guy replied, “This is a very special golf ball. I won’t lose it so I don’t need another one.” Well,” the friend asked, “what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?” “That’s okay,” he replied, “this special golf ball floats. I’ll be able to retrieve it.” “Well what happens if you hit it
it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?” The other guy replied, “That’s okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I’ll be able to get it back -- no problem.” Exasperated, the friend says, “Okay. Let’s say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?” “No problem,” says the other guy, “you see, this ball is florescent. I’ll be able to see it in the dark.” Finally satisfied that his partner needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, “Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?” The other guy replies, “I found it.”
2004 HONDA ACCORD COUPE
www.reddingsauto.com
2007 INFINITI G35
2010 KIA RIO LX
Sunroof, Leather, 5-spd
4-DR, Auto, Power Pkg.
Leather, Sunroof, Loaded!
2007 VOLVO S80
2011 FORD FIESTA SE
2007 NISSAN PATHFINDER
4-DR, 5 Speed, Gas Saver!
Sunroof, Leather, Sharp!
ROGERS PACKAGE SHOP
2223 East Victory Dr., Savannah • 912-352-2999
Smirnoff 1.75L
3rd Row Seat, Tow Pkg
Huge Selection! BEER • WINE • LIQUOR
DRIVE THRU
Jim Beam $
17.99
+ tax
1.75L $
26.99
+ tax
21.99
+ tax
Absolut Vodka 1.75L
$
29.99
+ tax
Bacardi 1.75L
GREAT CIGAR SELECTIONS!
$
Road Tripping: Trivia About Driving ~ In 1912, a law was passed in Nebraska that required drivers in the country at night to stop every 150 yards, send up a skyrocket, then wait eight minutes for the road to clear before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their horn and shooting off flares. ~ People taking a driver’s license test in Japan can fail even before they get in the car for their licensing test drive, if they don’t bend down low enough to check underneath the car for cats.
